Why is it that went you don’t have time to think you brain wont turn off? Recently I have been stressing about my exams and work and everything else, ask Dave he will tell you.
(It’s a bit of a mumble but I cant be bothered to make it make sense (the post that is) so you can make what you want form it).
My exams start on Monday with an ICT one 15 flipping hours! As its been pointed out to me I cant stay quiet for 15 minutes, 15 hours is a joke! Never mind there is a first for everything. Because of these exams the silliest little things are stressing me out like work. I have had a week off this week and now don’t want to go back to be honest I really dislike it there, so I applied for a new job which I don’t think I will get because of my age but what is the harm in trying the worst thing that can happen is that I stay at Sainsbury’s for a bit longer. So I have had that to think about but I have been mainly thinking about university and where I’m taking my self, I would love to do a theology degree but I cant quite bring my self to do that because I am not sure it would take me anywhere so I’m going to take youth work and theology or a degree in youth ministry. But before this I’m going to take a year out shadowing someone hopefully I have no idea where or who with but I think its will be a great experience (if I can leave the country stupid braces).
With life now I feel as if I’m dangling, I have stopped climbing my mountain, I want to get back on but have so many things to do it’s a bit crazy, every time I start to climb I fall off only a little higher than I started. It’s a bit frustrating and I don’t feel I’m getting anywhere im not getting any better or any further I haven’t changed even though I have put effort into improving. I have so many opportunities that could be grabbed and many that don’t arise for example no college in the local area does theology or RS as a course, would love to do it but cant. Do you ever feel like you have been trying but aren’t a help and you just hindering people or annoying them.
I suppose if I cant see positive effects on the surface I don’t think they are going very well for example Slam’s worship because I cant see the young people engaging it doesn’t seem to be effective, maybe its harder to get people out of this view that music is the only way, maybe I was being naive and that changing the way a small group of 30 think will somehow effect and change the way other people think and it boils down to my silly little view that all worship in a group environment (as it is a lifestyle choice) shouldn’t be singing, singing is great but why is it the only way and why don’t people see that its not, sometimes it feels a bit like I am the only one who thinks this. Ah someone switch my mind off and stop me thinking… I think worship is my little niggley bit that bugs me don’t get me wrong singing is great just not all the time, it may be because I’m a doing person I like to fiddle, give me a bit of blue tack and a song to sing I would be content do it for hours but I need that extra activity to keep me engaged I have a short attention span…(grr my blog posts again going on about worship and moaning! I’ll stop.)
Well any way exams stress and opportunities will a bit of added moan on the side…
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